“Murderers!”, I muttered loudly in my best Lord Melchett impression, as I gazed at what had yesterday been 2 fine young courgette plant (or butternut squash or – but that is another story).
I had moved a batch of young plants out of the greenhouse the day before to harden them off before planting out. Overnight some had been demolished by snails. See the example on the right.
And yes, I had taken precautions and used slug pellets.
Slugs and snails are amongst the most unloved creatures in the world. I know that there must be some people, somewhere, who study them and find them fascinating, and in some ways so do I. But the damage they do!
My preference would be to allow natural predators, such as hedgehogs, keep the blighters under control, but they don’t seem to cope with the numbers, especially when plants are young and very vulnerable. I’ve tried various methods over the years. Nematodes didn’t seem to make a significant difference. There used to be something called Nobble that was a contraceptive – but the ones next door didn’t stop breeding like rabbits. Methiocarb was highly effective but has now rightly been withdrawn from sale as it is really quite nasty. I haven’t tried beer traps yet, but do like the idea of thee. Perhaps they go to the big nursery bed in the sky with a silly grin on their faces. I suppose it could be a slow death, though, especially if they get out a few times to go to the loo.
A couple of years ago, I inadvertently disposed of a batch of snails when I got the barbecue going without first checking underneath a grating. Now, semi-cremated sausages have a reasonably alluring aroma. Escargot flambé, alas! is gut wrenchingly awful. So not recommended, on balance.
We could put up signs outside the allotments advertising, “Pick Your Own Escargot“. It might work. That said, we’d still be left with the slugs. Not even the French eat them.
Perhaps we could re-programming slugs and snails through genetic engineering (or should that be mollescular engineering?) to go after the weeds, rather than dahlias, courgettes etc etc etc, This could lessen the opposition to genetic engineering as well, perhaps, finally engendering some affection for the swine?
Of course, this could go very wrong. There are occasional dark rumours of sabotage around dahlia and chrysanthemum competitions. Imagine in the future, some Goldfinger-like evil genius unleashing hordes of Spetnatz-trained slugs onto their rivals’ prize blooms, saying with cold menace, “No Mr Bond. I expect you to cry!”. The horror!
